So Bitterly Sweet

Moving to Korea was something that I had truly yearned and worked very hard to accomplish. Ever since I have been a teenager I have had the urge to travel the world and see as many sites, partake in as many cultures, and be engaged in experiences creating memories for lifetime. I eagerly took the opportunity to come to my new home in Korea with no hesitation, even though I knew I would be leaving behind everything and everyone that I knew. This decision, although easy at the time, became complicated in my finals days living in the U.S 3.5 months ago because my brother and his girlfriend of 8 years announced their engagement and that they would get married while I was living in Korea. We all talked it over and came to the conclusion that it was OK that I continue on my life path just as they were going to coninue on theirs. There has never been any hard feelings for me leaving for Korea knowing that I would not be there on their wedding day. This past weekend, on June 2nd, my brother married his fiance and she became more than just a good friend to me...she is now my sister.


I spoke with the two of them the night before the wedding and we had a good long talk. We all understand that it was impossible for my to come. I have since seen photos of the wedding that I missed and have heard stories of how beautiful every was. I have also done a lot of reflecting on myself and my choice to miss their special day...and although I know they do not hold any hard feelings towards me, I amd finding myself feeling incredibly guilty. Guilty that I chose my life course over theirs. Guilty that I couldn't be  groomsman, make a special wedding toast, dance the night away, and even guilty that the rest of the family could not experience the wedding as a 'whole' family. the entire weekend and following Monday I felt selfish and for the first time since moving to Korea- I was homesick like nobody's business.  However thanks to a chat with my mother, and two veryh good friend here in Korea, I realize that I can't take back time or choices made and I will forever remind myself that I can just move forward and see them for years to come. On friend said the exact thing that has made me realize that everything is OK. He told me "While they celebrated a big event in their lives that you wish you could be a part of, you are experiencing your own life's events that they wish they could share with you". 

I decided not to stay blue and took the opportunity during the weekend of their wedding to do some more living here in Korea.

The Friday before the wedding Friday I went out with a few of my friends for Greek food in Itaewon, the foreingers district in Seoul. This was the first time that I had ever really eaten Greek food other than street vendors selling sub-par meat wraps. It was very delicious and thanks to the wine, I felt very content.
 The following day (the night before the wedding/the actual wedding) My friends and I went to Hongdae for a late night dinner of Samgapsal (bbq) and soju. It was a lot of fun and due to Hongdae being one of the largest university towns in Korea it felt like I was back in Champaign Illinois out at UofI bars/clubs. After the dinner we had dinner, drinks, the 4 of us went to a few different dance clubs and I had the time of my life. I had not danced that much and with that many strangers since my first month in Korea. the clubs were playing K-Pop, America top 100's, and popular remixes everyone is familiar with. It was a a very happy time for me-dancing the night away.
I got home at about 4 a.m. on Saturday night...which was an hour before the actual wedding. I fell asleep quickly, but woke up the next morning and immediately thinking "right now it is the wedding reception".
 Luckily I had already made plans for my sunday which were really fun and distracted me from guilt tripping myself for missing the wedding. My good friend      Nicola, myself, and 2 other friends went to a pro korean baseball game in Seoul. It was SOOOO much fun!!! The game lasted about 4 hours only because the "pros" are far from the pro's we are used to in the states. The pitches were slow and many runs were made...which is not how professionals should be playing. But the atmosphere was so nice, everyone was cheering regardless of which team was winning. the fans were there just to have a good time and watch a ball game. They were all so happy and energetic. The stadium food was a little different, which was an experience. they of course were selling ice cream, bear, cotton candy, and fast food. However..unlike American baseball games, I could also purchase sushi rolls, Dokboki (spicy rice cakes), dried fish, and more fried chicken than I think I have ever seen in one place! It was a very nice day all and all and I am looking forward to more summer days spent with good friends.

So it appears that although the brief feeling of homesickness has since laid itself to rest for the time being. I'm sure it may return again during holidays and important events back in the U.S. However, I also know now that I am living MY  life and just like I am missing my friends and family, they are also missing me and wishing they could be here as well. There will again be a time when we can all be near and experience life together- but for now I am experiencing my life, in this moment, in my new home. And I'm LOVING it! 

My weekend in Namhae

So as I have mentioned before in my posts...my job can be very demanding, stressful, and time consuming during my work week. Despite how much I love my kids and classes, I still looked forward to the weekends. The weekends is when my fellow friends and I all say "time to make the most of it". That being said, almost every exploration and adventure that I have been on since my arrival in Korea has taken place on a weekend. These past 2 weekends were no exception. Here is what I did 2 weekends ago...and an updated entry for this past weekend (which again was very fun filled) is coming soon :) 

Two weekends ago  I went on an Adventure Korea trip to Namhae Island- the biggest and most southern Island in Korea. Namhae is a 6 hour drive south and is very remote compared to the rest of Korea. It was a 3 day weekend thanks to Buddhas birthday being on that monday (American Memorial Day) so I had a full agenda for my time in Namhae. My friends Nicola and Mike went with me, as well as about 305 other people who signed up for the trip. The ride down to the island was almost unbearably long since everyone in Seoul wanted to get away for the weekend, but once we were there it was wonderful. 
As soon as we arrive, we  began our first activities of planting rice by hand and plowing behind an ox. It was actually kind of cheesy because it was obviously a "touristy" thing to do, but still fun nonetheless. After we got all muddy in the fields, we walked to a Pebble beach where we we were free to do whatever we liked. I myself left my friends and went rafting with some nice guys from Nigeria and a gal from the Philippines who I had met on the bus ride down. Later that night night, we were introduced to our homestay families who cooked us a huge korean feast both at 7 pm and again when we woke up, at 6:30 am! The food consisted of fish, rice, soup, kimchi, various seasoned and fermented veggies and tea, The first night after planting rice in the fields and going rafting on a pebble beach, There was only 5 people (about 40 people went down with the group) per house so it was a nice meal and comfortable sleeping space (all of us on the floor in the back room)
After a long day on a bus, getting muddy, playing in the water, and dining on some real home cooked korean food...there was nothing else left to do but buy some soju from the grocery store and do some more relaxing :)

The second day, we went on a 2 hour long hike to the top of the highest peak on the island. The views were wonderful. Namhae island is actually very very big and you could see to each shore- east and west. It was well worth the sweat and tired calves...and I really enjoyed this nice morning trek. Following hiking and lunch which once again was rice...fish...kimchi..veggies...we spent the afternoon kayaking to all the smaller satellite islands on Namhae. Boy were my shoulders a little sore the next day, but it was soooo much fun racing from island to island and getting a nice golden tan from the sun. Following kayaking we had free time on the beaches which I spent just relaxing with Mike and Nicola. We looked for shells, waded in the (surprisingly cold) water, and just relaxed in the sun. Later that night we had a bonfire and drinks on the beach...which I actually didn't drink, but still had a good time.
Day 3 we woke up to a normal breakfast- yogurt, muffins, juice, and coffee. Although I love my korean food...it was GREAT not to eat rice and fish in the morning :) This morning was spent went deep see fishing which was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Again, we were in small groups so Nicola, Mike, and our friends that we slept with were the only people on our boat with our  captain. I caught my first fish within maybe 10 seconds of dropping my line. It was a nice size pink fish with green fins. Very pretty...and even more tasty. For lunch we had our catch! It was soooo cool catching the fish and then eating it just a few hours later- super fresh. We ate it Sashimi style- raw. It is very good if the fish is fresh and you have right sauces and veggies to accompany the main dish of raw fish. Following lunch, we then loaded back up onto the bus and headed home to our urban home.


This weekend in Namhae made me realize something that I already knew- I am not a city person. Born and raised on a farm in the middle Illinois, I always knew that I had a love/hate relationship with the country life. Being away from Seoul and in open spaces with truly friendly people, feeling a fresh breeze, seeing cattle chickens and other farm animals at every corner, and seeing the stars at night felt really nice and actually made me feel like I was at home for the first time in 3 1/2 months. On one side I love being outdoors, fresh open air, peace and quite, nice friendly people everywhere I go, and being around the farm animals. However, I also need to ability to be able to go and do something fun and new, see some shows, hit up the bars, and meet NEW people because I don't know every person who lives there. After living in the middle of nowhere, a "big town" such as my university, and now in an urban setting of Seoul...I know where I belong...in a Big town with a lot to offer...yet still quiet and accessible to open spaces if need be.

Link to my photos so far of this summer inKorea, including Namhae Island:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3938187570161.172010.1144020019&type=3&l=d869d83713